The trigger for this new experiment was the weekly column of Lucy Kellaway. You might call her a Management Satirist. Some find her annoying, others like me find her amusing - we like obtuse thinking; it's good exercise.
Lucy's column this week was entitled "Office propositions are no clear-cut issue - Now is the time to break my silence and tell my story of being sexually harassed at work". What seems to forewarn of a dramatic outpouring of yet another example of disgraceful, male chauvinist behaviour, turned out to rather be an appeal to take the inappropriate proposition with a pinch of salt - even as a compliment. It's life after all, shrug it off and get on with it. In short, Lucy seems to have been propositioned by a senior in the taxi on the way back to the office following a meeting. She declined, explaining there was quite a lot of work waiting for her at the office. Whereas the implied advice to anyone subject to an inappropriate advance is not unsound - essentially, don't let it ruin your day, or your career for that matter - it still left the impression that the odd proposition is only to be expected. My private mail to Ms Kellaway admonishing her was gracefully received, and she asked me to submit it as a letter to the editor - well I would never have thought of this myself: so here it is in it's full glory.
March 5, 2013 10:20 pm
Quite unacceptable – even as a joke
(my original heading was less pompous: "The Propositioning of Ms Kellaway")
From Mr Anthony Smith-Meyer.
Sir, Lucy Kellaway (“Propositions at the office aren’t always clear-cut”, March 4) makes reference to her one instance of being improperly propositioned by a senior colleague. She makes rather light of it. In my opinion, on this occasion she has gone from her normally enjoyably provocative stance to being downright mistaken in one of possibly two ways.
One is that she misread the intent of her senior colleague in the taxi ride. If there was never any prior flirtation or attempt to charm her, he would never (unless devoid of any emotional intelligence) have expected her to agree to the proposition. His misplaced and inconsiderate comment was probably the absent-minded musings of a mind elsewhere – perhaps of a time long gone, problems with his wife, a hint of envy at the knowledge that a colleague frequents the said hotel.
The other is in her opinion that this kind of behaviour is a “shrug of the shoulders” offence. Ms Kellaway may have steady nerves and the lack of any “threatening” context such as associated flirtation, makes it a “forgettable” event – however the fact that she recalls the event in detail indicates otherwise. Mistaken female bravado aside, Ms Kellaway seems to forget that any senior that can influence your future, professional reputation at work has a lot of power over you. For a superior to even joke like this is entirely unacceptable – even if outside working hours by the way.
I’m concerned that her column this week gives a wrong signal. As a manager I have seen what kind of distress can be caused by unwanted “propositions”, even involving very competent female managers. It’s not a joking matter.
I look forward to Ms Kellaway’s next provocation, of course.
Anthony Smith-Meyer, Editor in Chief,
The Journal of Business Compliance
P.S. Just to leave me in total isolation and exposed as a real old fashioned fuddy-duddy defender of the "weaker sex", another writer, Dr Ruth White of Seattle University found Lucy's viewpoint refreshingly feminist:
"This feminist agrees with you. It is a compliment to be desired. Ambitious career women should know how to say “No”. Harassment is a much different matter from a flirtation or a request: it’s persistence beyond “No”."
Life's lesson: Never try to get the last word in a discussion with ladies .....